Day 3- So I've been off my pills for a few days now, and apparently everyone has noticed the mood changes that come with it. It's not that the doctor told me to stop, it's that I get tired of taking the little things 3 times a day. I'm on 400mg of Neurontin 3 times daily. The Neurontin is to help with pain I get in my nerves in the parts of my body that are fighting the paralysis. I was originally offered narcotics (Morphine, Codine, etc.,) but due to the constipation side effect that comes with narcotics and the fact that I didn't want to risk getting addicted, I refused and we came up with Neurontin as the alternative. It works 95% of the time, but the other 5% hurts like hades. So anyway, while on Neurontin you're natural personality shines through, but when you've been on it and then stop, at least in my case, the endorphins and neuro transmitters that control my mood start to shift to something rather annoying, grumpy, and unpleasant to be around. To my wife, I'm sorry when that happens. In my head I have it constructed that I should be "Me" without the pills and it's just not that way anymore. It's a PITA (that's an acronym for something I'm trying to keep out of this blog, curse words who needs 'em!) to deal with me when I've been off them for a bit and it's a PITA for me to constantly battle a dual personality if you will. I don't refer to myself as anything else when I've been off them, like calling myself Jaquez or anything, but I do start to notice my own mood swings.
I didn't walk today or hit the gym, it was supposed to be a cardio day but I just didn't have it in me. I have a rather large blister on my right palm from my handle bars that I got last evening while walking so that kind of deterred me, but ultimately I'm going to put this one on the drain that the pills had on me. I did finally take them so my mood has started to shift back to "normal".
My caloric intake for the day was 807 calories lower than my target BMR. BMR is the Base metabolic rate, so based on your age, weight, height, and gender you can figure up how many calories your body burns in a day just to keep you alive. If you exercise, that number goes up. If you eat less calories in a day than your BMR, then you experience weight loss. Keep in mind it takes 3500 calories to equal 1 pound. So the fact that I was 807 below my target BMR for the day was pretty good.
By "target BMR" what I'm meaning is that in my formula I don't use my weight. Why would I want to stay at my weight? So what I do is input the weight that I want to target, then once I near that I adjust to a lower weight. This helps me curb my appetite and see progress at the same time. If you go all in and lose 50 pounds in a month, guess what you gain back over the next few months... all the weight you lost comes back home to nest. If you gradually change things and allow yourself a pound to two pounds of weight loss a week, then it's not as easy to put back on.
As for the paralysis, I'm about to go tackle some mental exercises where I focus on my right foot first, and for about 10-20 minutes try to get it to move. I communicate with it, move it with my hands, massage it, and try to mentally move it over and over again, usually with no movement. I do right foot first, then left, doesn't matter the order, just saying I do work both.
I hope everyone enjoyed this blog. Sorry if it was a bit too personal. Stay strong in your Faith, know that He is there and through Him all things are possible. Life doesn't end, it's a temporary thing we experience here on this planet in this body, but everyday is a chance to reinvent the life you're living. It's a chance to experience all the wondrous things God has in store for each and every one of us.
Good night and may God Bless.